In living with a child do not continually contribute to their financial needs, adult children should have a job and not rely on a parent if they are going to continue living at home. Only providing the basic necessities such as roof over their heads and food is enough to force the adult child to want to get a job to have money of their own.
It will be important that everyone in the house continues to pitch in on the chores. One person can’t be responsible for everyone’s laundry or cleaning or shopping. Everyone should take turns making dinner, going shopping and doing the laundry whenever it is possible. Make the situation work by assigning times that chores are done by others and make it clear what is going to be acceptable for this situation to work from the get go. If you have an adult child living at home and you are still making their supper they will expect it, start with assigning one night a week that they take care of the dinner meal and give yourself one night off a week even if it is going to be take out food!
To make the entire situation work out well for parents living with children, one must realize that adult children are going to need their own space. Retreat to your room to read, watch television and such once in a while and give the family a little bit of their own time. Personal time to fight, love and such is going to be needed and sometimes it is going to be in your best interest not to be in the middle of personal matters so your adult child can learn to deal with problems, fights, and matters on their own without feeling as if you are in the middle.
While all of this may sound like a lot to deal with, it really isn’t. The entire situation of a parent living with a child or an adult child living at home with the parents is just a matter of respecting each other as an individual and a person without continually thinking that you have to care for them or all of their problems for the situation to be workable. Besides, with the family living together, the bonds between parents and children remain strong and love thrives even through the toughest times in life so it really is worth the try!
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Comments by: rhonda root
from missoula, mt Sep 01, 2008
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| my daughter has lived at home forever!!! My daughter was in 8th grade when I got my divorce. I had a long talk with her and told her if she "wanted" something she had to use her babysitting money. When she turned 16 she got a job and has been working since. When she turned 18 we became roommates. She is 26 and my grandson is 8. We have our problems but we eventually work them out. I have to step back sometimes and quit being a mom and become the roommate. She pays half of everything. We share a vehicle and she pays half of the maintence. If she "wants" something, even now, she buys it herself. There are times when I feel she is taking advantage of me but we get through it. So living with grown children can be a great thing for all. I help out with childcare, and the plus about that is I can be with my grandchild everyday. It's a win-win situation in our home. |
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 I'm with Mr. Smith
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Comments by: Heather Clark
from Canada Jul 27, 2005
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| We are the parents of 3 daughters..22, 20 and 18. I hear..we are (their age) and we can do whatever we want. Mine don't only go out and party and come in at all hours, they bring friends with them. We wake up to people all over our house. I don't think these adult children are ever going to grow up living in our house. They need to live on their own, in the real world to appreciate what they have. Right now it's all just taken for granted. I totally agree with letting them make their own mistakes, but it's hard when it's in your face everyday. I feel we've done our job and my husband and I would like to have a life now. How can we leave our home for a vacation not knowing what we will come home to. Tired of our lives being on hold. This has nothing to do with love because we love them dearly but there are many days it's hard to like them very much. |
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I disagree n Ill tell you why
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Comments by: charles smith
from bradenton,florida Jun 28, 2005
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| My child is 29 he has a job no problem.I refuse to make life easy for him. We already had one agreement that is our problem. My house doesnt have a revolving door. He thinks he can work all day n party n come when ever he likes. Well sorry this is the real world he wants his independence he needs his own place with his own key. My house my rules he needs to respect that or leave. We have authority every where. Charles Smith I love him but I have a right to a life with my wife too. |
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